Oliver is…

He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man

…not that good at stealing

After my initial excitement caused by finding that people actually used the photo of my La Souvarov elsewhere online, I was a little disappointed to see that my anchor beard is only used once elsewhere — in a beard image gallery — and that my chin puff also had only been uploaded into a (different) beard gallery.

The French Fork, my half and half, mutton chops, short boxed beard, Wolverine and the Klingon were nowhere at all. Even the pencil moustache, my most searched for style, returned nothing. It’s almost as if people took the top photo from my site to give me hope and then never came back. Even the stupid galleries were avoiding me now.

Had I set myself up for a huge disappointment?

Luckily, it wasn’t all in vain. Hawaii Dermotology made use of my goatee, but with the snide ‘half goatee’ comment.

The Hollywoodian, which I had high hopes for, only came up on a Russian forum and on a… I don’t know what. A page that just seemed to dump random images with no reason or explanation.

Then a bit of luck. At first glance, my chin curtain was being used by more people than my La Souvarov. What joy!

This time my 2009 upload managed to come out on top in Google. In second place was a tumblr called Luv and Hat written by a bloke from the Guardian and what I can only presume is an incredibly talented Robyn Wilder. In this post Robyn raves about beards and uses my chin curtain, or ‘the Amish’ as she calls it, as an example of a style she’d like to grow, if only the gender gods given her a different fate. I don’t actually see my photo on this page like Google promised, but I’m glad it showed me the way here.

Then, much to my chagrin, the rest of the links were tumblr tags from that post, broken galleries and that stupid garden centre again. So much for that.

Then Balbo showed similar promise, only to fade into multiple results for the same few entries. Teases.

On Jeff’s Beard Board user Musahaladin has a problem with his beard growth. As he puts it, “I seem to have the potential, except for two big flaws”. User serpico comes into the discussion to offer advice and between them they come up with my Balbo as photo inspiration. “I like the image a lot”, says Musahaladin. In the end he tried it, didn’t like it, and went back to the Van Dyke. My Van Dyke had no results, just like my handlebar and goatee and my friendly mutton chops didn’t. Like my Winnfield didn’t. Fu Manchu and the handlebar moustache had nothing but dead links and stupid galleries.

What had I learned? Not much. I’m not as popular as I initial searches may have indicated, but I will at least be able to make a little game for you all to enjoy.

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Filed under: beard, ,

3 Responses

  1. Dave says:

    I just had the stroke of insanity/genius (it’s the first one) to find out if anyone’s stealing my words next, after I found a couple of websites doing that along with the photos. That would only require searching for one phrase from 337 blogs (and counting), so at least quicker than searching for every individual image, but I’m not up to it right now.

    Why does it sometimes take me all day to get round to doing an hour’s worth of work, yet I can happily murder many consecutive hours on such a pointless vanity project?

  2. Bethany says:

    Dave, I’ve used some of your pictures for a Busan travel brochure for a class of mine.. Hope you don’t mind, you got kudos for it though. 🙂

    Btw, thank you for the beard envy… It’s been a new experience with being a girl.

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