Oliver is…

He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man

…going behind the scenes

By now most of you will have read the global bestseller ‘Literally the Newcastle of the south‘. You’ve probably read other work by this lovable author and each time you do, you’re probably wondering ‘how does he do it?’. In a world exclusive so secretive that not even he knows about it yet, we take you behind the scenes of the Freelance Flaneur at work.

This plan had been brewing for a while but early attempts to document the documenter failed when he proved too quick on the draw in his VIP tour of Sydney. As a tourist, his camera was ready to go, aimed and shot before I could stealthily snap my shot. Of course, our team didn’t have access to him at all times and that stupid dog just didn’t have the attention span to learn how to take photos. It would never have worked.

What we needed was a plan to take him out of the city and on a tour to see the sights of somewhere new, unbeknownst to him that he was actually the main attraction. For this covert operation, we chose Newcastle, Australia.


Here we can see the documenter taking what would turn out to be the leading shot of his report. We tried to take a similar shot, but it turned out pretty poorly.

From the same area we can also get a slightly different angle of the donut thing and also see him taking a quick snap of some graffiti.


This was only a spur of the moment stop on our tour. We had promised him some native animals to film, so that he wouldn’t have to trek into the outback where the poor internet signal would only go to prevent him providing us with future work.


In Blackbutt Reserve, our subject became so engrossed with his surroundings that he almost forgot our team was there. Here he is with a lazy kangaroo.


Here he is with an “awake and funny” emu but in case you were thinking that all he does is walk around, take photos and think of witty captions, you’re wrong. Here we can clearly see our subject contemplating how best to capture, describe and empathise with his subject.


Our subject’s not in this photo, but it’s a pretty good scene.


You’ll also notice that I’m putting in a lot more effort with my file names in this report, that’s a way of me getting inside the mind of the subject. It’s a scary place.


This looks like the same “creepy owl” we’ve all come to know and love, but if you look at the background you’ll see that it’s slightly different. This is what would generously be described as “bonus footage” on a DVD biography of his life.

Of course, there are lots more photos of birds (and even a toad/frog) but we didn’t capture his every move. That would be weird. We did, however, catch him in his first moment with a koala, because that’s more important than a stupid peacock.


More bonus features!

Two shots of unused footage from the trip, both birds of some description but he probably got bored of looking at photos of them after a while.

unused-footage unused-footage (2)
Coming up next week: I follow someone else around while taking odd photos of them. Could it be you?


Filed under: australia,

4 Responses

  1. Dave says:

    Actor’s commentary (they never know as much as the director, obviously):

    – There are far too many of these for you to have just taken one for whimsy. This actually was planned.

    – Wow, you actually made the file names directly correlate with the official footage. You might know how I felt on my Farscape tour.

    – You may been impatiently waiting for my blog to get the hell out of Sydney for over a month. Sorry.

    – My beards always looks loads more impressive in hindsight after shaving. At the time they feel like a natural progression of laziness and not actually a real beard.

    – I would have spent more time taking photos in Sydney but I felt embarrassed to be in tourist mode so pretended to be casual. Then I was annoyed at the rubbish angles, so in Newcastle I was myself again.

    – Hopefully we’ll switch again if you visit some place I know only slightly better than you, so I can write your diary for you again.

    – My birthday isn’t for seven months yet, but thanks!

    • Oliver says:

      I did take my camera the day I showed you round Sydney, but couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse to be taking more photos of the Opera House which might have given the game away. You’re totally right about point three as well, I’ve been checking Google Reader much more frequently the past couple of weeks.

      And you’re totally right about your beard. It looked pretty good when you were here, I expected you to know that. Today is day 83 of mine. This times four-and-a-bit should be pretty impressive.

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