Oliver is…

He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man

…a yeard failure

A while ago I was all ‘I’m so cool, I’ve been growing a beard for six months‘ and now I’m all like ‘Yeah, I got rid of my beard’. What gives?

Basically, out of all the people in my relationship, not everyone loved my beard as much as I did. Because things like that, or ‘her’, are more important to me I decided to pare my facial hair back to a level that she actually found attractive. It’s a bit like in the American Office when Jim does that thing in season nine because he wants to save his marriage.

jim from the office season 9I’m basically this guy, photo from tvequals.com

It was a mixed day for me. As I went shopping for a trimmer and a lighter I actually felt sick to my stomach. To my stomach or in my stomach? It was basically all centralised there. The look on her face when I showed her my new look face (my chin was about two or three inches higher than I thought) was worth it all.

Before getting too soppy, let’s move onto some beard facts.

From my intended 365 (366 because of double day?) I lasted 238 days. That’s around 65% of my target or a touch less than eight months of uninterrupted beard growth.

This is how I started.

yeard day 1

This is how I finished.

yeard day 238

This is how I finished it.

beard on fire


Here’s a compilation of my photos. This would’ve been better with another 130 pictures or so.

Funny thing is, when I showed the video to my other half she thought it was really cool because it showed our travels really well. If only it was still growing and I was still taking photos…

One thing it does throw into question is this year’s World Beard and Moustache Championships that I was planning on entering. At the moment I’m a bit sore to think about going just as an audience member, but I think closer to the time I’ll be more keen.

Stupidly, I didn’t even get any new beard styles out of all that growth, keen as I was to impress some girl.

Filed under: beard, , ,

2 Responses

  1. Dave says:

    At least you can drink soup now.

    You need a new vanity project to fill those few seconds of compulsory headshots each day. You’re not allowed to just live.

    • Oliver says:

      I’ve had a few ice creams the last couple of days and that’s been great. I instinctively grab loads of napkins whenever I get food still, but I’m sure that’ll stop once my bag is full of nothing but paper towels.

      I would love a new project to fill my time. Any suggestions?

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